Dear Ol' Dad

My Dad has his own blog, which you can read at http://davidguzik.wordpress.com. He updates more than I do, but I had mine first, so there!

In his blog he has been introducing the internet to his three children, myself included. I have to say there are few things better in your young adult life than the praise of your parents. I'm sure they have a great sense of pride and accomplishment being the teachers, care givers, counselors, disciplinarians, and benefactors of our lives. But as the child, you feel that in their praise you have returned good on their investment. I hate to make this sound so business like, but it's true! When I read what my Dad wrote about me, I had an overwhelming sense of "I'm so happy I have become even one measure worthy of the the love and time he put into my life."

This is so true in our relationship with God as well. There is no way we can ever say we gave God a good return on His investment in us. But when He does lift us up and tell us how proud of us He is, it is an amazing feeling. That our lives at this point have become a giant "Thank You" to our Heavenly Father. I definitely feel that way with my earthly father and heavenly Father. Anything amazing in my character and life is a direct result of the time and love they put into my growth.

So this is me blogging about my dad!

David Guzik

I love my dad. He is the best man I know. Even without being my father, I think he is one of the greatest men on this earth. I've just got to know him better being his daughter! I hardly know where to being in describing David Guzik. I suppose a good place to start is when I was a child. My father gave lots of hugs. I only realize now in my adulthood how precious and important a father love can be for a girl. I was truly blessed with a father who not only loved me but showed it. One of his games was the Teddy Bear Game. Dad would be home, maybe after work or on the weekend and would be napping on the couch. One of us kids would walk past him and he would grab us and cuddle us, all the time pretending that he was still asleep and we were his teddy bear. We would of course, protest and try to "wake" him up and say "I'm not your teddy bear!". He would only hold us tighter! Eventually we would break free, laugh and run away. And I'm sure it may have seemed at the time that it wasn't our favorite; but when I look back at my childhood, that is one of my favorite memories.

Breakfast in Bed! A Guzik birthday tradition!

Who doesn't love getting woken up by people singing and shoving food into your face!

In ministry there are alway people to visit, to counsel, projects to work on and have meetings for, missions trips, conferences and if you teach, studying can take up a lot of time. Your time gets eaten up very quickly. I knew my father's work was very important and I understood why. But I am so thankful for the times when he was able to bring work home. Many times he would be studying on the dining room table while we kids ran back and forth. I'm sure it couldn't have been easy to concentrate but I am so glad he made the effort. I remember distinctly on day, in between running from the kitchen to the front yard, pause and seeing my dad sit and study. I didn't need him at the moment, and probably wouldn't the whole afternoon, but he was there if I wanted him. He wasn't at the church office or visiting someone. He was there for us in the house if we needed him. Or if we wanted to show him what we found in the hills behind the house, or the book I just finished reading, or the joke Nathan just said.

He was present. He made time. He valued family. And I may not have fully appreciated then but I certainly do now.

In Paul's Prision in Rome! Look at the suffering on that face!

We'll keeping going or this post is going to be way too long! (Not that I could ever say enough about my dad!) In those wonderful teenage years I definitely gave my parents a run for their money. In all my troubles I knew that my dad loved me. He had spent my childhood establishing my respect and love for him, that when he need to discipline me I knew where it was coming from. He raised us to know right and wrong, to know what the consequences of wrong choices and following through in the discipline for those choices. True there were times when I was defiant; but I was allowed to express myself and I knew the repercussions of my words. My dad is fair. This, I know, was invaluable in his job at the Bible College.

My Daddy and Me!

My Dad is also fun! He is actually a huge goof! His cool and collected persona from the pulpit doesn't do justice to the nerdy man in him! Growing up one of his favorite jokes would go as follows:

Dad - "Guess what?"

Me - "What?"

Dad - "THAT'S WHAT!"

Me - *rolls eyes*

Dad - "Ha ha ha! Got you!" *little dance*

Me - *walking away* ;-)

I mean really! Come on! But that is the goofy sort of guy he is. He likes to watch TV with us kids, make jokes, does funny white guy dances, and grins like a little 5 year old. We all love to laugh! And getting my dad to really chuckle is great fun! He loves great movies and music. He is responsible for my musical foundation in such greats as Bruce Springsteen, U2, Talking Heads, R.E.M., Bob Dylan, The Clash and Tom Petty.

My favorite times with my dad are now in the car. We listen to our favorite music, I show him what is new on the indie scene and we play both our 25 most played songs. We'll talk about anything from theology to history to politics to life. And sometimes we don't talk at all, just sitting in each others silence. I think that is when I feel the most safe and secure. Riding in the the car with my dad. I know my worth, I am respected, I am protected and I am loved.

Dad in Holland in the early 80s. I love this picture! It just oozes cool!

He is also an excellent baker, can fix cars, is a published author, computer whiz, ran the LA marathon, and is a tireless worker for the Kingdom of God.

So that is my dad! I could go on and on because I love my dad so much! I get to know other women my age and learn that my father was truly one of a kind and good man. I hope I can continue to make him proud!

BFF

As I am typing this I have just put Eoin to bed (for the third time!). He has got to be the cutes little boy I know! Eoin is the son of Mike and Rachel Neglia and he was just diagnosed autistic this past summer. If you know anything about Autism you know that there are very many types and was it manifests in every child affected. Its very rare to find two kids exactly alike. There are generally though which give us insight into helping them navigate this world in their own way. Eoin is what you might call a high functioning autistic child. And there are many things I praise God for in him. I know that they are huge blessing to Mike and Rachel as well. I just wanted list the many things that we all love about Eoin.

• He loves to cuddle! - many autistic children dislike very much to be touched, Eoin craves it!
• He loves story time - I have babysitted many children in my life and no one has ever loves reading or being read to like Eoin! You could read him 20 books and he'd still ask for more!
• He has a very active imagination - This is truly a blessing, many autistic children have a hard time with imaginary play but Eoin will make up stories, songs, names, games, participate in play acting! This will help him greatly as he makes friends as he will be able to play!
• He is honest - It could be just his age or the need for reality but I can't say that I have ever caught him in a lie. If you ask him "Did you break the toy?" He'll say yes! Wether he is remorseful or not is another story but knowing you can ask an get an answer is awesome!
• He loves to eat - This is actually a blessing and a curse as he will eat and eat till he gets sick but many kids his age, autistic or not, have made major food preference decisions which are often void of anything good. Eoin doesn't like vegetables so much, but loves fruit. I knew a kid who for years eat mostly candy, pasta with ketchup and chicken nuggets. Eoin is a great eater!
• He loves me! - One of my main prayers in coming to Ireland was that Eoin would be comfortable with me. That he would trust me and be ok with me. God has answered that prayer ten times over! He like me a lot! He loves to play and cuddle with me and tells me my teeth are beautiful! I can put him to be with out him freaking out and can spend the day watching him without a meltdown (him or me!). I know this is a blessing to Mike and Rachel (they said so in their last newsletter!) but it is a blessing to me as well for it is an answered prayer. And who doesn't love the affection of a child!

So those are just a few of the amazing things about Eoin. As he grows, I know God will us him for His kingdom. I can't wait to see it happen!

Gomer and Me

Last Friday I taught at our Women's Bible Study. We are going through the women of the Bible. I taught on Gomer the wife of the prophet Hosea. I was very excite because god has used her story to speak to me so deeply I just have to share it! so here are my notes, which I followed pretty closely!

Hosea is probably my favorite if not my most favorite book of the Bible. The themes of ensnaring sin, loving redemption and complete salvation touch my heart every time. God has used it in many important times in my life. I seem to gravitate toward it every year around this time. Coming out from the dark winter, seeking renewal in my life.

Read Hosea 1:1-11

The main players in this book are God, Hosea and Israel. In the beginning though there is another character, Gomer. She is only mentioned in the first three chapters then nothing for the rest of the Bible! But this woman, despite her past and her future was a great tool of God, showing for the rest of eternity how great His love is.

First things first, Gomer was a prostitute. I’m sure we all know what this is but to simply describe it, she gave the use of her body sexually for material gain. Her name is given in verse 3 as Gomer the daughter of Diblaim. For the longest time I wondered, “How could this women be the daughter of someone who would allow her to be a prostitute? Where is her father?”. Diblaim actually means cakes, two cakes, fig or grape cakes; depending on which source you look at. It’s like saying Gomer, daughter of tasty sweetness. Rabbis believe this to reference her profession as a prostitute. In the light of the Baal references throughout the book she may have even been a temple prostitute.

So we have a woman, with no family to speak of, constantly seeking happiness and finding the easiest way to get what she wants is to give up her heart and her body. To make compromises of her soul.

But then something changes in her life. She gets married! God asks His prophet Hoses to marry a “wife of whoredom” and he choses Gomer. I don’t want to overlook the great task God gave Hosea. Before God told him to write anything down, he had to go against family and cultural opinions and marry a whore, a woman known for her sexual immorality. As a servant of God he may have been praying for a sweet and humble virgin bride. But God need Hosea to marry Gomer to show His love. This was a great trial for Hosea to be sure, as he is to be our Christ figure, he had to lay down his life and pride for Gomer.

Gomer gets married and has a son with Hosea. Then, if you watch the language of the text, she has 2 more children but Hosea may or may not the father. Her next 2 children are named No Mercy and Not My People. It seems she continued to have sex with other men despite being married. If Hosea had suspected something with the second child there was definitely no question with the third. Who is this woman that she would do this to her loving, godly husband? To him who took her away from an empty and dangerous life into freedom and safety with him.

This poor, lost and confused woman is representing so much more than her own struggle in her heart and mind. She is Israel. She is a lost soul. And she is me. And she is the Church. And she may even be you.

Read 2:1-13

Every time I read that I am struck by my own sin. By my own heart’s inconsistency. By my willfulness to run away from my God and not toward Him.

In my life, being a pastor’s daughter and growing up in the church, I know what is right. I know how I should act and I know that God loves me. I want to make Him happy. But I know that it doesn’t come naturally to me, I knew this even as a child. My heart is desperately wicked. I desperately want to do bad things. I essentially say in my heart “I will go after my lovers, who gave me my bread and my water, ...” I go after the things that I think will make me happy, or make me cool, or satisfy me.

Read 2:14-23

This may be my favorite passage of scripture. We will get more into it later! The language used here is so sweet and so reassuring. 13 times the Lord says “I will”. And every “I will” is followed by an action that will benefit the ones He speaks of. He is at this time referring to Israel, but think of what Hosea must have thought after going though all the marriage and baby drama with his wife. Hearing that God will restore Israel to Him, despite mistakes made in the past, despite the fact that Israel doesn't deserve it. In 2 Corinthians 6:17-19 Paul tell us “ Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away, behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; ..... not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation” God wants to lavish gifts and blessing on us. He give us His Son. He entrusts us with His words. All this to filthy sinners. But He claims us as His own. He will restore us. He wills it, so it will happen. This encourages Hosea in the next task God gives him.

Read 3:1-5

Even though her name is not given in this passage, we know it must be Gomer otherwise it would not fit into the context of the message. God will not restore Israel and then the next time they stray, give up and pick someone else! That is not the character of God.

Did you see that Hosea had to go get her? She had left him completely. She w

as not home taking care of the kids, she was not even with another lover in the house. She was a prostitute again. She had gone right back to her old life. Hosea had pay for her. She belonged to someone else, a guard or a pimp and Hosea had to pay them to be able to get her home. But she did go back with him. It says in the last verse “and they shall come in fear to the Lord and to His goodness in the later days”. She was probably fearful of what Hosea might do

to her, being no stranger to violence, but instead of hostility she came home into goodness and restoration.

So that is the story of Gomer! A woman whose life raged back and forth between to opposing sides. A woman in love with the world yet romanced by godliness. I found three main truths that God used Gomer as a tool to show Israel and to show us today.

The first is that Gomer shows us that God accepts, uses, and rescues us despite our past, present or future. As it says in 1:2, Gomer is a whore. She debases herself for material or emotional gain. That was her past. But God still sought her out, chose her for rescuing. Though we may not walk the streets as a prostitute ourselves, we make compromising choices in our lives and in our hearts. Whatever choices or acts you may have done does not disqualify you from God’s grace and mercy. If anything it make you more eligible! In Isaiah 54: 4 God reassures “Fear not, for you will not be ashamed; be not confounded, for you will not be disgraced; for you will forget the shame of your youth...” Big or small disappointments in our lives are not a hinderance to God. They are only a hinderance to you if you let them be so. Gomer went back to her old way of life and thinking because she could not accept the love that Hosea (Jesus) had to offer. I’ll be the first to say there are places in my heart that I will not let God plant new life in. And I know that it is holding me back from truly experiencing the redeeming love of Christ. I am working on it, day by day. Bu

t if I cling too tightly to it, those things will soon be all that I am holding on to and not my Jesus.

The second thing Gomer shows us is the way that God demonstrates His love. In chapter 2 after the accusations in verses 1-5, God says “Therefore I will hedge up her way with thorns, and I will build a wall against her, so that she cannot find her paths. She shall pursue her lovers, but not overtake them, and she shall seek them but not find them.”

As God is our father and protector He knows that we will run, so He makes sure we cannot run to our destruction. He hedged her paths. In a sense He caged her in, but it is not a hedge or wall of imprisonment but a hedge of protection. In Job 1:10 Satan bemoans that he cannot get to Job because God has “put a hedge around him and his household...”. This is the hedge of the Lord! Not a cage with bars that tease you with views of the outside. But a plant that provides shade, air, beauty and protection. God may hedge your paths, but it is because He loves you and not because He is trying spoil your fun. Also in verse 2:10 God speaks of “uncovering her lewdness”. This is exposing her shame. For us it may be public “in the sight of her lovers” or private in our own hearts but never the less, when we are in sin we must

be faced with our sin. However, He assured her that “no one shall rescue her out of my hand”. We may be shamed but God is with us, we may hate ourselves but God is with us, others may despise us but God is with us. We are never out of His hand.

And lastly Gomer shows us God’s ultimate plan of restoration. Let’s look back to chapter 2: 14"Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her. 15And there I will give her her vineyards and make the Valley of Achor (Trouble) a door of hope. And there she shall answer (sing) as in the days of her youth, as at the time when she came out of the land of Egypt. 16"And in that day, declares the LORD, you will call me 'My Husband,' and no longer will you call me 'My Baal.' 17For I will remove the names of the Baals from her mouth, and they shall be remembered by name no more. 19And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. 20 I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the LORD. 23and I will sow her for myself in the land.

And I will have mercy on No Mercy, and I will say to Not My People, 'You are my people'; and he shall say, 'You are my God.'"

After hedging her paths and removing all the filth from her life does God leave her destitute? No! He gives her vineyards and a new home with hope and love. And God doesn’t just drop us down in this new life. It says He allures us. He speaks tenderly to us, appealing to our hearts. I imagine Gomer was so surprised at the grace and mercy of Hosea. He didn’t drag her back to his house but he drew her back with love. And the joy she will experience will be so great, it will be as though she is a young girl, pure and free. Do you remember how you felt when you first came to Christ? When you first saw how much He loves you? That is what you will feel again and again as you draw closer to Him. You can have that joy again! Your sins will be removed from His mind, from your memories. Only you can drag them up again.

But rejoice! For He has removed them! And Jesus, your savior will bind Himself to you. He makes promises to you of righteousness, steadfast love, mercy, faithfulness, and an opportunity to know God. As Gomer was redeemed my her savior Hosea who was just a man, we are redeemed by our Savior Christ Jesus, who can make these promises and keep them, for He is God.

So that is it! I hope it blessed you as much as it did me! I hope to be able to teach a lot more in the future. I feel very out of practice!

Painting

So I have never been terribly artistic. My skills of perspective haven't improved much since my 8th grade art class. But two years ago many of my friends in Santa Barbara painted and I want to give it a go. Art teacher's criticism be forgotten!I must say I was surprised with myself. Not that I am good in anyway. I wouldn't even call myself and artist, but there is something sublime in working with paints and creating a picture. I often put in some music and see what happens. Then I didn't do much for a year or so.

A week ago I went to the local art store (vibes & scribes I love you!) and spent 14 euros on some supplies. I went with a new friend that God has put in my life as a great encouragement to me. I felt so overwhelmed! When God plants you in a place, you somehow think that you will start growing right away. "I'm planted right? Okay, let's start growing!" (not that my time has been miserable or stagnate so far!)

Now along with the new season, I feel filled with more life and more coming from my heart.

I have decorated my room, my mom come to visited, Eoin is more in love with me than ever, I have new friends and now I am doing something creative! Life is good! God is good!

So without further adieu here is what I have painted so far! They are small, cause I didn't want to commit to any canvases being so unsure of what I could do so I got a little canvas pad.

The first one I did. I was really just testing out the brushes, but I thought I'd be hip and clever and name it Disjointed Angel.

Fall Flowers

Inspiration taken form a brooch my Mormor gave me.

Anchored Deep

I painted this for my new friend Coleen. I love the Scott Cunningham song of the same name

Hedged

I am teaching the Women's study this Friday (tomorrow!) on Gomer, the prostitute wife of the prophet Hosea. I got so inspired by the love God showed her, Israel and us today that I decide to paint it! Taken from Hosea 2:6 "Therefore I will hedge up her way... so that se cannot find her lovers...." I attempted perspective with the hedge and kinda failed, oh well!

Sown

Also from my Hosea line of paintings ;)

This comes from verse 2:23 when God has brought Gomer/Israel/the sinner to restoration and places her where He wants her to grow. in all my travels and moves, this verse has brought much comfort to me knowing that where ever I am physically I am planting by God. Not for friends, family, work or even myself, but for Him.

(and my first ever attempt at painting a hand!)

What 80s Music Taught Me

The Bangles! Who wouldn't want to hang out with them!

Depending on when you met me you may or may not know of my obsession with 80s music. I used to wear it on my sleeve. And my legs, and my feet and my ears and especially in my hair! I dressed 80s as much as my confidence would allow. Now I don't dress like that so much. But if an 80s themed costume party suddenly broke out, let's just say I'd be well prepared and Wang Chunging in 5 min! (plus and extra 5 to tease out my hair!)

That guy right in the center, yeah, that was my hair!

Though I don't look the part anymore I do still listen to the music that started it all. I can't remember exactly why I got so into 80s. I think discovering John Hughes in High School played a bit part. (If you haven't seen Ferris Beuller's, Breakfast Club or Pretty in Pink shame on you!) But being the typical teen not wanting to conform to anything, I realized that many of the decades were over saturated in followers; the swing kids, the 50s, and the hippies. So I claimed what I did not see anyone else doing. Now in my older and wiser years I realize that I am not purely defined by how I dress or what I like and I am free to appreciate what I truly find my self drawn to. (Freedom!)

Read what you like! And dress and listen and do! Forget the status quo!

And the Cure! How can one band make some of the happiest and loved filled songs and some of the most depressing and introspective! And look like that!

Rabbit trails, aside I love 80s music. When you step back from the big hair, confusing clothing choices and technicolor make up there is something of quality there. Maybe not of the most refined and perfected but that is my point. They tried things. The use of electronics, like the holy Casio, was being push to the technological limits of the day. Hair and fashion was at the same time antiquated and futuristic. Lines and geometric shapes were everywhere. Seemingly pushing the limits of art and fashion. A lot of it is cheesy, a lot of it is painfully repetive. You can see how after 10+ years of it Grunge whould make it's way on to the scene. Nothing should last forever.

Duran Duran! Awesome for a time but you can't be Hungry Like the Wolf forever!

I am alway surprised when someone says they don't like 80s music. I don't think they have really listened to it. Michael Jackason and Madonna aside, there is much to be enjoyed. A few from the vault: Soft Cell, Camouflage, Huey Lewis, Kim Wilde, Loverboy, Nik Kershaw, The Power Station, Spandau Ballet, and Ultravox!, to name a few. They have one or two big hits that you would most likely hear on 80s night in you local club. But their sound and lyrics are grabbing.

Soft Cell. One of the weirdest yet good looking guys ever!

Now what did this all teach me?, as my title prompted. When I look back at myself at that time when I was obsessed with 80s music it is like nature making a change. I was busting out of a cocoon. I was not painfully shy but shy all the same. I was so worried about how I looked to people but desired to be unique. Not wanting to stand out in a crowd or be the first one to sing along but dying to inside! The unabashed ridiculousness of the music I loved helped me embrace the goof inside myself! I could be that outgoing person so long as I had my music. Now I have weaned myself off my little crutch and can still be a silly and fun. The spirit of no shame in their music and looks taught me to be myself! Even if that self is a little ridiculous! I now reign it in to make myself presentable to society. And I have other likes and obsessions now that play in to what I wear and listen to. But if you really want to see the 80s freak in me, just play Love is a Battlefield or the Safety Dance.

Also! In the 80s it seemed like it didn't matter how you looked! They "ugliest" people made some of my favorite music! How different to today when people run to plastic surgery to try and obtain perfection, rather than practicing their art!

All right already!

Racked with guilt, I now am back to blogging. The longer I wait the harder it is to bring myself to up date. And there is actually things going on in my life! I don't have the energy right now (as it is 1:30 am) to do a retroactive let-me-cover-everything-I've-done-the-last-few-months post so will start with one that is short but with pictures!

Since I have no home to call my own, I take what I can get. And I have got a room.

A very nice room with lots of space and a great big bed and lots of wall space. What I did not have until recently was the money or tools to spend on fixing it up. But I was blessed with a bit of extra money this month of March; which went to paying bills without stress (always a treat!), blessing a friend with a day of fun, and getting things for my room!

I got a new bedspread, duvet and pillows!

I had been borrowing a set from someone in the church but now I have my own! I just got white because I am still searching for something pretty that will go with my "Kiss" painting.

Pretty much the same as when I moved in but a few new bibs and bobs on the windowsill and I hung one of my paintings above the window!

Some new hooks to hang important things on! Like purses and my house robe! The hook the robe is on is a lovely iron heart with and edelweiss flower a friend got in Switzerland! So cute!

I collet postcards, photos and pictures that inspire or awe me! I decided to hang them up on my main wall! The room definitely feels more "done" now.

And lastly, my corner! A shoe rack and cork board with jewelry! (an idea I stole from my housemate!) Plus some amazing stencil art my bother Nathan did!

So that is it! I felt quite pleased and accomplished after I did all this. I still have more I want to so we will see how it goes. I realized I need a good creative outlet. I had my jewelry making and had started painting in the States but didn't bring any of my tools with me. I think I shall go to the art store and get some paper and acrylics. That would do my spirit good!